random porn customers… part 8 (hand sanitizer is my friend)

When you work at a porn store, hand sanitizer becomes your new best friend. Seriously, customers would return porn rentals, and I knew where there hands were before they took those movies out of their VCRs or DVD players. So there was a rhythm to the whole transaction…. customer hands me movies for return… I put them away… then pumped some hand sanitizer on my hands. Hand off, put away, pump… that’s how I spent most nights.

Sometimes movies came back with obvious liquids on the cases. When this happened, I would look at the customer like I was a disappointed school teacher. Then I would hand them some paper towels and a bottle of disinfectant and make them clean off the cases before I’d handle them. Really, I was not paid enough to deal with bodily secretions.

Every once in awhile, a customer would bring a case back with the wrong movie in it. Often it was another porn movie, which wasn’t a big deal. Sometimes it was a movie rental from Blockbuster or Hollywood Video. And one time, a porn case had a copy of Cinderella inside. I’d hate to be the little kid who tried to watch her Cinderella movie and ended up seeing “Big Trouble in Little Vagina” instead.

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