random porn customers… part 26 (weird ones)

People who came to the porn store did some weird things. For one thing, the porn store did not have an after hours drop box for porn movies. However, this did not deter people from trying to use the outdoor trashcan as a drop off point.  So when I came in the porn store, I would check to see if movies were at the top of the trash can. If movies were deep in the trash, those people were just screwed because I wasn’t digging through trash for their mistakes.

Then there were the people who would try to open things. I can understand trying to open a toy to see what it looks like or a lotion to see what it smells like.  But some people would have to open the 3-pack of magazines. They could already see 2 of them, but they really wanted to get in there to see the elusive 3rd one. Then there were the people who tried to open the grab bags. These were 20 bucks for 40 dollars worth of merchandise. I had people who even tried to bribe me to tell them what was in the bags.

One of the locations I worked at had a restroom/dressing room.  This was stupid and whoever designed it this way was naive. Even I know that you don’t give people in a porn store a public restroom. Some people look at the porn then want to wank off in there. And I have no idea why, but I had more than my share of customers take a crap and not flush the toilet. And some didn’t even wipe, which is just too gross for words. I think that says a lot coming from someone who rented out double penetration movies without batting an eye.

Some people would leave their business cards at the front desk for display, usually strippers.  One time this guy left his cards, and I must not have looked too impressed.  He says to me, “What? You don’t think I’m a stripper? I can strip.”  Then he proceeded to whip off his t-shirt and break away workout pants and gyrate around in a neon thong. Honestly, I still wasn’t impressed.

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