random porn customers… part 27 (drinking holidays)

On or around holidays, people would run into the porn store for last minute items. Now the only major holidays the porn stores were geared for were Valentine’s Day and Halloween… that’s it. But, time and time again, people would expect us to have crap for other holidays…

New Year’s:

Customer: “Do you have anything I can wear to the bars? Hat, funky glasses, anything?”

Me: “Not really. How about a sparkly dildo to wear on your head?”

Mardi Gras:

Customer: “Do you have anything I can wear to the bars? Beads so I can see some boobs? Crazy hat? Anything?

Me: “A green and purple stripper boa. Or what about a mardi gras inspired dildo to wear on you head?”

St Patrick’s Day:

Customer: “Do you have anything I can wear to the bars? Green hat, headband, anything?”

Me: I have green stripper boas, green stripper thongs. And hey, how about a green dildo to wear on you head?”

Cinco de Mayo:

Customer: Do you have anything I can wear to the bars? A big sombrero or something?

Me: Not really. How about some Spanish Fly? And I’m not sure what color dildo you’d want to wear on your head.”

Fourth of July:

Customer: Do you have anything I can wear to the bars? Red, white and blue beads, anything?

Me: How about some red and white striped hot pants? And what about a red, white, and blue dildo with stars on it to wear on your head?”

And if you are wondering… yes, I would really answer like that. It was fun to watch people think about the dildo/head thing for a minute. It was my snarky way of telling these people they were in a porn store, not Spencer’s in the mall. Plus, if I was working on a holiday, I needed to get my entertainment any way I could ; )

1 Comment

Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s