random porn customers… part 28 (boys’ toys)

Customers at the porn store would always ask me what toys they should buy, like I’m going to know what size dildo they want in them or something. Anyway, I would ask them what they were looking for and I’d usually find some good kinky stuff for them.

As a special treat, I’m going to tell you the about the toys I recommended most… I’ll start with the guys. Just don’t ask me how to use them. I had a guy who bought a toy call me up one time and ask how he was supposed to use it. So I rolled my eyes and said, “Add some lube and put your junk in it.” Anyway here we go…

For a cheapy kind of toy that is actually pretty good, I’d say get a Hand Job Stroker. It’s even ribbed for your pleasure, not hers. For something a little more expensive, but not by much, I’d say get something with some moving beads for extra stimulation, like a Beaded Stroke Master.

The coolest toy for guys is the Fleshlight. It looks like a flashlight, but, um, it’s not. You can get interchangeable parts for it, so it can be a mouth, or genitals, or an asshole that looks kinda like a donut. No matter what you get, make sure it’s not too short. Lots of guys’ toys are only 4″ long for some reason.

I was going to try to do men and women’s toys in one post, but laziness just took hold of me. I’ll blog about the ladies toys next time.

5 Comments

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  1. The funny thing about some of those sleeves for men…their penis pokes out the other end, making their junk look like one of those pigs in a blanket.

    It makes me laugh…

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  2. No kidding, it’s just silly how short they make some of the sleeves. That Beaded Stroke Master has an extra long sleeve… I have one at home for parties. I should shove a dildo in it and see if it comes out the other end : )

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  3. Speaking as a guy

    1.) Most of the sensitivity in the male ‘junk’ is at the head, so much more isn’t that useful.

    2.) The 4″ length falls well within the range of ‘normal’ for overall erection length. (Now I’m supposed to mention how much larger than 4″ my unit is, but I digress – which is also why guys should measure in centimeters.)

    3.) You totally forgot to mention the whole range of prostate stimulators for men 🙂

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  4. Keith, I also left off all the rods guys can stick in their penises for the same reason… I didn’t want to scare anyone off ; )

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