random porn customers… part 35 (embarrassing moments)

At the porn store, there were more than a few times when customers really embarrassed themselves.  One time a guy was swinging a double dong around and accidently hit himself in the nuts so hard that he fell down.  Another time, a woman was laughing so hard at a novelty toy that she peed on herself.

And my favorite was when a husband and wife were picking out a strap-on. The woman told her husband, “I get to fuck you with this!” and then someone from their church came around the corner in the store.

So I was curious… have you ever had anything embarrassing happen at a store, a bar, or anywhere in public? I’ll throw one of mine out for you… My boob popped out — Janet Jackson style– at my wedding during our first dance. Thankfully, I was able to shove it back in my dress before anyone noticed… or at least I tell myself that : )

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  1. “have you ever had anything embarrassing happen at a store, a bar, or anywhere in public?”

    Good God woman! I’m 51 years old! I could fill the fucking Library of Congress with stupid and embarrassing stuff I’ve done in public.

    If I could remember any of it.

    All I have to go on are public court records and restraining orders.

    The rest is lost to the realm of legend and antiquity.

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  2. Must have been one hell of a reception!!!

    As to the original question, becuase I am older and more worldly (some friends say perverted) a lot of folks come to me with questions about porn or adult toys.

    So with that in mind it was not terribly unusual for me to be in the porn shop helping a recently seperated young lady find a bathtub “buddy”. As we walk out, the union steward from where I work walks in with her hubby.

    As steward and I say “hi” to each other, my friend and stewards hubby take turns turning red and stuttering. Not embarrassing for me so much, but kinda odd I never run into the chick in the grocery store.

    N

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  3. I once came home to find my 6 year old son using a vibrator to make his car go across the floor. I spent the next several days in fear that he would go to school and talk about the new ‘motor’ he had for his cars. I did learn that hiding isn’t always enough, doors should be locked too.

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  4. I saw my neighbor at a party for my sister and soon to be husband. I asked her how her husband was, she said he left her for an older woman. She did not speak to me the rest of the night.

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  5. When I graduated from High School. the ass hat of a principal who had seen me more then his fair share, called me bi the wrong name..and wrong gender, I was Michelle…as I crossed the stage to shake his hand and get my diploma, I called him an asshole and walked to the edge of the stage where I hung a big old limp wrist to the Junior guy standing there and made him help me off of the stage….12,000 people roared with laughter and I got a standing ovation…still it was embarrassing.

    At my 20th High School reunion I was still known to some as Michelle.

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  6. i once fell off of, then back onto a barstool, it tipped backwards, and i fell forwards, then i sat on it … i was probably 250 lbs then, but needless to say i broke it – and was promptly thrown out!

    ***

    i also once was so drunk that i let someone ride me down the stairs “Frosty the Snowman” style – there are pics of that, and i dread the day my children see them & hear this story!!

    ***

    i played drunk kick ball in the aisles of a grocery store after we left the bar – on the way from the store back to my place, i stuck my head out of the sunroof and went “woo woo woo wooooo” [like a firetruck] all the way home!!!

    /is that enough, i could go on for an hour!

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