random porn customers… part 39 (weirdest toys)

The porn store had more than it’s share of odd toys.  Here are just a few…

Pleasure Periscope — land ho!

Anoscope — dirty land ho!

Expandable butt plug — maybe this should be used before the anoscope…

The Accomodator — for when you just wanna do it all.

Mini Mouse — I’m not sure how this is supposed to be sexy.

Osaki Vibrator — Old man and a beaver.

Gerbil Flex Pleaser Wand– and yes, it even has a little gerbil face.

The Osaki vibrator was the one I disliked the most. Why would you buy a vibrator with an old man on it? Gerontophilia, anyone?

13 Comments

Leave a Comment

  1. Well, “gerontophilia” makes it sound weird and foreign. But according to an informal survey of the junk mail that piles up in my work email account over the weekend, “Granny vids” are among the most wildly lucrative forms of erotica available in the electronic porn delivery network. Old people — such as your Wilford Brimley, or your smelly old Michael Douglas — enjoy hot, somewhat nauseating sex. It’s the secret you can’t learn from issues of Modern Maturity, although in any given Michael Douglas film, there’s a 75% probability that he’ll take his pants off at some point.

    Like

  2. LoL, worst thing I ever saw was “The Hand” it looked like a life sized version of a GI Joe (pre king-fu grip) forearm and hand.

    I dunno if it vibrated, or how it was used because frankly I was too frightened to ask them to take it out of the case so I could read the box.

    PS- not found at your fine chain, but a South KC News stand.

    Like

  3. sheesh i remember those from the love shop days. never sold a single pleasure periscope. did you guys have those one shot deals for guys to jerk off in then throw away? those were a riot. how about the virgin mary butt plug???

    Like

  4. Erikka, we did carry the pleasure periscope, but no virgin mary butt plugs. However, we did have a guy’s toy that would say sexy things and scream ‘Oh God’… does that count?
    : )

    Like

  5. Jelly osaki is my favorite, of course there is no face left on it. I really didn’t notice it being an old man, just a foreign man and that ‘floated my boat’. God I hate that term…

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s