Customers would often come into the porn store looking for particular movies that they didn’t know much about. Sometimes I could help, but often I couldn’t because there are massive amounts of porn made every year, and the porn store couldn’t possibly stock them all.
One guy asked me if I knew the movie about car salesmen that had a woman who ends up having sex with a clown in a bathtub. That one was American Built featuring Nikki Dial. A few customers requested “the movies that have rock stars throwing lunchmeat at chicks”. That was the series Backstage Sluts… classy, eh? One asked for the movie with Ron Jeremy as Greek God Hermes. The movie was called Underworld and Ron Jeremy’s version of Hermes was a cab driver with wings on his hat.
And speaking of Ron Jeremy, I’ve been looking for a particular movie with him in it lately. I saw the box cover one night at Ray’s a few years ago. The box cover featured Ron Jeremey having sex with an anatomically correct puppet. Or maybe it was a doll. Actually, I don’t know what the hell it was, but it reminded of a muppet. So for a couple of months after this great find, I would drag different friends into Ray’s to look at the box cover.
Unfortunately, I don’t remember the title anymore, so lately I’ve been slightly obsessed with finding out what it is. Now mind you, I don’t actually want to watch this damn movie. I just want to know that I didn’t make it up in my head one drunken night. So far, I haven’t found the name of this puppet porn, but dammit, I’m going to find it. Maybe I just need to go to a porn store and ask the porn clerks if they know what movie I’m talking about.