what the buck?

pregnant21.jpg

I went into the Dollar Tree on Roe the other day… the place where everything is only a dollar. I tell ya, I feel rich in there. So I go to pay for my dollar loot, and I see something behind the counter that confused me. A pregnancy test… for a dollar. WTF? Is someone really going to trust the results of a test that cost a buck? At least they didn’t have any packages of dollar condoms… which would probably lead to the dollar pregnancy test.

looking for a good time?

On the KCMO Police Department website, I found this prostitution map.   Independence Avenue is obviously the place with the most action, with Troost Corridor second, and smaller outbreaks in other parts of the city. However, if you go to any of these places, I can’t guarantee the quality of the help or their services. Enter at your own risk, preferably with a condom.

about face

It’s Friday, so here’s a weekend scenario for you. Let’s say you are single and hanging out at a bar. You’ve drank more than your share, and you want to take someone home and do dirty things to them. However, since it’s closing time, the pickings have gotten slim. So, do you take home…

a) The girl or guy with the gorgeous face?
b) Or the girl or guy with the hot body?

Most of the guys I’ve asked have said the hot body, but one said he’d want the pretty face. As he says, you just can’t fix ugly.

Me… I’m a sucker for a cute face.  So what would you do?

get your read on

Chris Packham of the Pitch and Farmer Bob interviewed me for an article that was in last Thursday’s Pitch.  He said he was interviewing interesting Kansas Citians about their favorite funny books. I wondered how the hell he ended up thinking I’m interesting, but whatever works. Anyway, here’s the article that includes interviews with five cool people… and then there’s me.

dinner and dancing

I was at Jazz tonight, and I went into the restroom before I left. While I was in a stall, a woman was washing her hands, and another woman walked in. They both sounded excited to see each other, and I gathered they were former coworkers. One said, “Are you still working there?”, and the other answered, “No, I’m a little old for that… I have a straight job now.” They talked a little more, and one said, “Yeah, if gas prices keep going up, I”ll have to go back and pick up some dancing shifts again.”

Oh yeah, I was in the bathroom with two former strippers. And I gathered from their conversation that they used to “show it all” at Bazooka’s. Reminds me of the time I was in a dressing room and two strippers were next to me. For someone who doesn’t sell pasties and g-strings at a porn store anymore, I still run into my fair share of strippers.