sometimes i’m stupid

Sometimes I’m not that bright, but I do mostly learn from my mistakes. Here’s what I’ve learned recently…

1. If you’re in a car wreck and need to buy another car, just start with CarMax rather than going to all the usual dealerships that make your blood pressure go up so much.

2. While you are looking for a different car, don’t do anything stupid like kick your old car.

3. And really don’t kick your car unless you have on car-kicking shoes. Otherwise you just might break a toe.

4. If you do break a toe, it’s going to hurt to go camp and hike in Rocky Mountain National Park during your vacation.

5. If you go camping, make sure you bring the fly for the tent. Otherwise you’ll have to McGyver it.

6. On another note, if your dog keeps trying to kill you with the gas stove, get a baby gate and lock her ass out of the kitchen. (Thanks to Spyder for the idea.)

7. But if you lock the dog out of the kitchen, be prepared for a new line of attack… like her tripping you and trying to make you fall down the stairs.

8. Try to talk your husband into getting a second dog to keep the other one busy. If he doesn’t go for it, just bring another dog home. Oh wait, don’t post that plan on your blog before you actually go through with it… oops.