So when I worked at the porn store, I had some guy groupies. Now surely you are reading this and asking, “What the hell?”. But I assure you there were guys who would only come in when I was working. And they would ogle me, tell me jokes, and try to be witty until I would kick them out.
The ones who took up the most of my time were not yet 21, so they couldn’t go to any bars or clubs. I guess porn stores are more interesting than libraries to some people who are underage. There were two guys under 21 who would come in together and they would always ask me to go to parties with them. One night, I made a deal with them– I would go to a party that night if they wouldn’t come in and bug me for a few weeks. The guys thought they had died and gone to heaven.
So after I closed up the porn store, I drove my car to the local liquor store and the guys followed me. They stayed outside while I went in to buy my bottle of whatever. I was around 23 at the time and I was probably still in a rum phase. I got up to the counter with my big bottle of Bacardi, plus some vodka, and the guy at the counter wouldn’t ring me up. He thought I was trying to provide minors with alcohol, since these guys were sitting in a car outside. I told him, “Trust me, I need all this alcohol to hang out with them”, but to no avail.
I ended up telling the guys I had to skip the party. There was no way I was going to a possibly super geeky sausage fest of a party without being able to drink. And since I didn’t hold up my end of the bargain, my guy groupies got to come into the store for the next few weeks anyway. I just couldn’t win.